Other Plans

In the summer of 2010 I, a non-believer and self-proclaimed heretic, read the Bible—Old Testament to new—with a goal to finish Revelations by Christmas Day.

Bored with Michigan and the Midwest, uncomfortable with a stable marriage, I launched the resulting blog, ThumpMe, which challenged believers to make one out of me. At its essence, ThumpMe was a compromise with a straight-laced husband who had vetoed a heroin addiction or driving cross-country with truckers as viable projects.

Instead of bestowing the Holy Spirit, the Bible triggered absolute chaos culling a long lost sense of self. By Ezekiel, I was Army crawling through my Lansing backyard with a BB gun strapped to my back on a mission to quiet a neighbor. By Jeremiah, I was in the Rhine Valley embarking on an affair with a German journalist. By Corinthians, I was back in Colorado with my mom and dad fighting depression and accidental anorexia.

I finished everything but Revelations by Christmas Day. It took four years, a tour around the world and another failed marriage to grasp the end of the world and the reality that this generation’s version of the Stepford Wives is not for everyone.

Purchase on Amazon